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Jeff CarterOctober 31 Esteem and Respect My carpool partner recently set the wheels spinning in my brain with a casual comment: "Self-esteem is not the same thing as self-respect." I had not distinguished between the two. I spent the work day ruminating, then fired up Google at home to start investigating. Respect, I read, is about accepting, without changing. Esteem is about valuing. Online dictionaries seem to be poor at providing connotations (an absolute favorite of my sophomore English teacher, Mrs Ikenaga of the blue hair). I associate generally positive ideas with 'respect'. I connect it to 'qualities I would like associated with me', and 'things that I admire, and may not achieve', ...particularly some talents and abilities associated with the women I have known... and 'things accomplished in the face of adversity', requiring exercise of moral, emotional, and/or intellectual strength and overcoming pain or sacrificing physical comfort for intangible reward. I respect the evangelical missionaries prowling about my neighborhood without caring a rat's ass about what they espouse. I respect my father's journey from Appalachia to Hawaii to California while abhorring his personality. I respect my brother's principled stand while deploring his difficulty living the rest of his many-faceted life. So, respect seems to be associated with right and wrong, with social values, and with fitting in. Next, preliminary thoughts about esteem. March 10 SaturdayWorking through the month of March. I feel adrift, waiting for the next problem to surface. I'm an adrenalin junkie, although more the laid-back stress addict sort. Odd thought of the day: Was Caesar's contribution to warfare actually political in that he embraced the "embedded reporters" of his time and spun every story from the front to the Senate? Or was he really a creative tactician? Six months of building up a client base to support my expenses. Six months of trying to influence Ben to get a better job and a driver's license. Six months of influencing Nick to get a GED, a job, and a driver's license. Six months of influencing Sandy to get a job she'll stay with long enough to see Nick independent. Six months to hope Chris gets a water job and can afford to buy the house. Six months to pay down debts. I get a sense of deja-vu when I read over it. I must not have learned the necessary lesson, if I'm repeating the steps. Ow! March 09 Further adventuresWell, that was one of my shorter retirements. After going through the departure process on Friday, February 23, I will be "reinstated" Monday, March 12. Sort of like a two week vacation. Since Kristy Pickett didn't pass the ECI 3 test, Mr. Ahles wants to have me in place to cover the requirement. He's dressed it up with some attitude about letting her get her feet under her after having the baby, but it sounds a bit contrived. I've agreed in principle to six more months, but haven't heard from headquarters. The P3S Conference in Napa was a rousing success. It was great hanging out with everybody, feeling like a wheel. The TriState meeting was too smooth, a feeling I shared with Rick Roper. I'm riding my high horse on the website issues/concerns with Ardel. We need to be up and running already. I attended the San Diego Section Board meeting, representing P3S, TriState, and CORBS. This is going to be an interesting year. February 23 Big DayI am retired from United Water Burbank. My paycheck is in the mail to Sun City, due tomorrow, and I'll send that off to the bank. This has been a detatched sort of week. I went to lunch with the Warner Bros EHS guy, and was told I'm their "water consultant". That would be fun, I think. I spoke with Manny Benitez, and he's adding me to his list of contractors. I spoke with Rodney Andersen, and he suggested the City of Burbank may come looking for some contract assistance every now and again. All pleasent ego strokes.
The oddest phone call was the most recent. The City of Riverside's HR department called to update me on their search for Rod Cruze's replacement. I appear to remain in the running.
Anyway, I have a full week ahead, with the P3S Conference and the Tri State Executive Committee Meeting, not to mention Nick's birthday Monday, and Sandy's the following Sunday.
I'm looking for an appraisal of the sextant before posting it on eBay. I'm thinking I'll visit the Museum at March ARB tomorrow, and maybe someone on staff will comment on my prize (or connect me with someone who can...). February 20 TuesdaySometimes I am embarassingly eager to sell out my staff. Today, the client called me and asked about a sampler set up that was supposed to include a connection to a flow monitor. It wasn't connected, making the sample worthless. It turns out the staffer who takes care of that sampling discussed things with a different City staff, who suggested we eleminate interferences with the flow meter calibration as much as possible. Too bad nobody told me. After dancing with my boss, writing a monitoring protocol, and having a discussion with the client, all that's left is a meeting tomorrow between the staffer, the boss, and me. Ugh!
I think a break from staff will do me good. |
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